God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
