Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
