TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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