Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
