I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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