they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
whose ass print is on the piano?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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