When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
