If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
