I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
