i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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