i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
