Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
