I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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