so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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