all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
