I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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