im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
