dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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