She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
