pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
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her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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