I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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