i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
