did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
