ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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