She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
