He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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