Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
