Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
