You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Boobs are out for the taking
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
