Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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