The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Mom said you looked used
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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