At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
