Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
