I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
