Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
