like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize