Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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