he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
