I'm gonna have a badass scar
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
