this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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