i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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