It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
