She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
