Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
