I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
