That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
