did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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