smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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