I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
