So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
