Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
