did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
