Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
