i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
