It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
