If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
