He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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