Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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