dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
