i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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