I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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